Ferda

A token of rememberance – Grace Paddock #6

On Sunday October 2nd, 2022, I lost my daughter Grace to depression. In processing all the thoughts and feelings over the days after that, I am left with this message from 1 Corinthians 13. I highly recommend reading the whole chapter.  It boils down so many things to what life is about. “These three things remain; Hope, Faith, and Love. And the greatest of these is Love.”

We say it, and we hear it all the time. “I love you” “I love you too.”

What does it mean? What are we saying?

1st Corinthians 13 goes on to tell us. “Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is not proud. Love is compassionate. Love is forgiving.”

I love Grace.  It was an easy thing to do. She was so vibrant. So passionate. So driven.  And as much as I have loved Grace, I admit that there were times that I failed to love her as God does. There were times that I was not patient with her. There were times when I was not kind. Times I failed to humble myself and let pride separate us. There were times when I was not compassionate with her. And times when I held things against her.

This does not mean that I did not really love her. Just that I did not love her completely. Like God loves each and every one of us.

I toiled over the question, “If only I had loved her completely, would she still be with us?”

Jesus said that there are two commandments. 

  • Love your God with all of your heart, mind, soul, and body.
  • Love your neighbor as yourself.

We usually focus on loving others, but I would like to point out that part of that second commandment is that we need to love ourselves too.

We all fall short. We are only human. As much and as hard as we try, we will, at times, fail.  In these times we must remember that we need to be patient with ourselves.  We need to be kind to ourselves. We need to keep a humble heart. To be compassionate to ourselves. And perhaps most importantly, forgive ourselves.

As I move forward from today, as well as those who also mourn the loss of Grace, we will feel that Grace sized hole in our heart. We will try to fill it with work or school, or a sport, or something. May we choose to fill it with Love. May we learn to love more completely, as God loves us.  That through patience, kindness, humility, compassion and forgiveness to ourselves and to each other that we may better understand the Love of God.

If we could do that, there would be so much more Grace in this world.

For those that know Grace, and would like a token to remember her by. I am offering these to whomever may want one. Simply fill out the form at the bottom of the page. I will send one to you.

To honor her memory, please consider supporting one or more of the following organizations. When the store reopens, we will be donating 10% of our sales to continuously support them.

OPC Hockey – Grace played, lead, and cared through her involvement.

SAVE – Suicide Prevention, Information, and Awareness

Sophie’s Squad seeks to to improve the mental health of athletes from youth to college by raising awareness of mental health issues and removing the stigma associated with seeking help.

UPDATED 7/10/2023

We have a brick dedicated to Grace hidden in plain sight and not far from our home. It provides a quiet place for family and friends to go and remember her. It is surrounded by other bricks, and benches, each one commemorating a lost loved one.

During the dedication ceremony, the presider shared this excerpt from a book called The Letter. It is part of a series by Richard Paul Evans about love and grief.

“It is often during the worst of times that we see the best of humanity – awakening within the most ordinary of us that which is most sublime.

I do not believe that it is circumstance that produces such greatness any more than it is the canvas that makes the artist. Adversity merely presents the surface on which we render our souls’ most exacting likeness. It is in the darkest skies that stars are best seen.”